Remembering
by captaingalactic
Summary: Santana was always scared of the day Brittany would start questioning their relationship. Memories from Santana's perspective. Set during Sexy, pre Landslide.


This moment had always felt like a lifetime away. It was always going to happen sometime, Santana had been sure of that. She knew that Brittany was bound to start asking questions about their relationship- she was misunderstood, not stupid- yet as Santana sat on that stool, moments away from bearing her heart in front of the entire Glee Club, she felt as if it had only been yesterday that this whole thing had started. She wasn't ready for the judging or the ridicule. She wasn't even ready to accept herself and she knew it.

As she heard the familiar melody drift from her left, Santana's mind wandered back to all of the memories she had stored away for safekeeping, some long ago and some as recent as yesterday. They were like a storyboard, a perfect metaphor for everything good in the world, everything that was her Brittany.

She remembered the first day that she and Brittany had met. She was five, starting her first day at Lima Heights' public school and was doing everything in her power to keep everybody as far away from her as possible. Brittany, with her deep blue eyes and adorable smile, had torn down all of Santana's walls and defences in less than ten seconds.

"Hi, I'm Brittany. I'm going to be your new best friend."

Santana had resumed the role of protector right away. Nothing could touch Brittany as long as she was there. Brittany drew her in like a magnet. Santana couldn't explain why she felt like her heart smiled every time she looked at the beautiful blonde girl who had nestled her way in, but she knew there was nothing that would ever change that feeling.

Santana thought back to the first time Brittany had said she loved her, eleven years old at one of their frequent sleepovers. It was meant to be careless and innocent, simply to express how much she cared for her best friend but as soon as the words had tumbled out of Brittany's mouth Santana had flushed red, immediately glad for the darkness that concealed the colour of her face and the loud fan heater that masked the heavy beating of her heart.

"I love you too, Britt. You know I do."

Santana had wished as hard as she could will herself to that Brittany meant it the same way she did. As she lay in the darkness she felt a familiar body mould in with hers and she was pulled closer to the girl she knew she loved more than anything else in the world, knowing right then and there that nobody would ever make her feel as invincible as her Britt could.

She remembered the first time that she had kissed Brittany, two years later, the summer of their thirteenth year. They were sitting under a table next to the Lopez's pool, sheltered from the burning sun. Santana watched the way that the light reflected off the pale strands of the blonde's hair, the white of her flawless skin and had wondered at that moment if anything could be more perfect than the girl sitting in front of her. Santana had barely noticed that Brittany has shuffled closer, too preoccupied with counting the freckles scattered across her nose like a miniature milky way and it took her completely by surprise when a pair of soft lips pressed against hers, confirming every wonderful notion she had about how Britt might taste.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time, San."

Santana had sat there stunned for what seemed like a lifetime, still feeling the electricity charging through her body, unstoppable and relentless as if she could do anything- move the sky and the earth, cause an earthquake, change the world. She pressed her lips against Brittany's once more instead and for the first time in her life, she had been entirely happy.

As she sat frozen in that stool preparing for the three minutes she never could be ready for, she remembered most of all that she had a thousand memories just like those she kept closest to her heart. Stolen kisses, the first time she and Brittany had made love, the moment she knew she would spend her life with her best friend and as quickly as she had been unsure she could finally sing to Brittany how she felt, she knew she was ready to face the world for the only thing that mattered- the light that guided her heart home.


End file.
